A Guy's Point of View

I still can’t understand it. I can’t make sense out of what is in or out of fashion – appropriate or inappropriate clothes for each occasion. What was in last year is out this year – or it might be in but you need to change accessories. What was good for spring and summer won’t work for fall and winter. What is in now was likely already in somewhere around 20 years ago but then it went out - and was replaced with another item that was in. Jeans are so much easier.

I gotta find the Fashion Bible. There has to be one out there. Something that says you can't wear the same thing as you wore last year. The women's section has to be huge - everything but the last ten pages. Guys don’t seem to matter quite as much. Actually, not much at all. They’re an afterthought in case they are looking for a gift for someone. Jeans go anywhere.

I can’t understand it. Why sometimes those really high heels are good and sometimes they are not. Why sometimes bling bling is good and sometimes it isn’t. What is bling bling? Why grandma pins are sometimes good and sometimes they aren’t. Or big earrings? Why anyone would ever not wear minis is beyond me. OK, I’m I guy. I like looking.

Are pleated trousers be in or out? What about tweed? Blazers? Why do women’s handbags match their shoes? Can summer shoes be the same as winter shoes? Probably not, huh? And what’s wrong with t-shirts and jeans? I think it looks great. What’s the deal with buying new jeans that look like they’ve already been worn? Buy used jeans.

How many buttons are guys dress jackets supposed to have this year? Are pleated dress pants in or out? What is business casual? Are cuffs in or not? Why can’t ties be any color? Why do we wear them at all? The are ridiculous. Why do all men look like penguins when they dress formally? A great t-shirt and jeans works just as well, better.

And have you looked at underwear lately? I understand that the women like to do all sorts of push up/out, accent, emphasize, enhancement, colors, show off stuff. Guys – we’re out of control. Ads in Times Square? Where do they get the models? I thought our underwear was to keep our family jewels in place and protected. There are articles describing what kinds of underwear the celebrities are wearing. Does anyone care? I just don’t get it.

I never will understand this fashion stuff. If we’re clean and comfortable, warm, cool or dry depending, we’re good. What else matters? Give me my jeans.